Monday, March 24, 2008

Setting It Aflame

Goddammit, I hate this day. I have been beating my head against this wall which is my Sales paper all day and I am getting no where. Here's the kicker, it is supposed to be done by 5 tomorrow. Even though I did procrastinate, which I admit, I don't think I could finish this paper before today anyway. I really have no idea what I'm writing down and I can't find a good place to write this motherfucker. I've been to the library 3 separate times today. I've tried writing it at home and here, but I just haven't been able to stay focused on it. Such is my life I guess, I don't know what to do so I just bullshit everything until something comes out that isn't an absolute piece of shit. I guess I'm just getting frustrated with everything right now. This includes, but isn't limited to, School and my personal life. With school, I'm not sure I'm doing what is right for me. I took some online quizzes that were supposed to tell you what I would be good at and enjoy doing, but what do they know. Apparently I'm going in the right direction, but I just don't feel it. I would just like to know that I'm on the right track, or if I'm not, what could I do to fix it. And that kind of leads into my personal life. I have never felt more alone than I have lately. I don't mean lonely as in I need a relationship, but actually alone. Its hard right now because sometimes I feel like no one has my back. And because of this, I'm letting people know about less and less of my life, which kind of makes me scared. I'm really afraid that I'm gonna be one of those guys that doesn't have anybody who talks to him and talks to no one. Its some scary shit. Things have been getting better for me as of late, but I really need someone that always has my back right now. I need it more than anything.

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